-I don’t remember (via fuckreiva)
Forever reblog(via leslielies)
if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion
your uterus is worth $3.2 billion
I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE
Maybe that’s why we get so emotional
did you just make an egg pun
Do you ever write a line that just makes you sit back for a second and go
I wrote that
that line is so good
if I was a famous writer hipsters would probably get that tattooed on their biceps, that line’s so good
*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this
well if you close your eyes
when youre walking past a dead body in a horror game and it suddenly comes back to life
Oh my god you can almost hear the pug’s screams.
whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.
My 3rd grade teacher once told me to read the books that are the the most damaged on the outside because you can tell by the damage its been read by a lot of people, and there’s usually a great story on the inside.
This advice hasn’t failed me yet.